Can I be honest? In a very awful and selfish way I was actually looking forward to our quiet 2 person Thanksgiving out here in Seattle. It sounded nice to have a chance to celebrate this holiday with zero pressure or stress. We could sleep in, and prepare our mashed potatoes sans dairy, eat whenever, and spend the whole day basking in peace and quiet. No musical toddler toys, or tripping over dogs that lay down in the most trafficked areas of the kitchen. No tension or awkward small talk or jello. We could skip all of that this year. Just indoor voices and pajamas all day.
Dear family if you’re reading this, don’t be hurt. Because it turns out when I woke up today, all I wanted today was to sit next to my niece, Kendall and giggle as we passed meaningless notes around the dinner table. Or to finally get to try a slice of my father-in-laws homemade pie that he’s been perfecting for months.
Today was a lot harder than I thought it would be; I definitely caught myself off guard, though Clay did not seem surprised by my emotions one bit. He watched the Lions game and brought me a fresh kleenex with each commercial break. On paper this sounds (hilarious, or) incredibly insensitive but I assure you this was Level 10 Love. Because I can’t stand being overly doted on in those moments. I just need to have it out and be sad and eventually I’ll work through it and then we can go about our day. I don’t need a man in a cape to fix the world; though at halftime he did research hypothetical flights to Grand Rapids for Christmas…and for a second I forgot to be sad because we were too shocked by the ridiculous $1000/ticket price tag.
…This is all new. We are just over a week in and still getting our ‘sea legs’ out here. Trying to navigate what life looks like thousands of miles away from the beloved holiday chaos that we’ve known for 31 years.
And of course the entire day wasn’t all spent in depressing gloom and soggy kleenex sadness; it was mostly just the morning. Later in the day we talked to both our families and went for a long walk in the rain. We saw a sea lion swimming in the canal! We made a full thanksgiving feast for two with just a crockpot, a few pans, and the tiny oven of our AirBnB. Clay cleaned everything up. Friends called and messaged and sent pictures. Our hosts left fresh fruit and a jar of delicious nuts at our doorstep. And we spent a small fortune on an apple pie from a fancy local bakery because warm apples and sugar are the “everything is going to be okay” kind of comfort that everyone needs second helpings of no matter what. Besides, it’s way cheaper than a $1000 plane ride.
(And having said all of that… And since you gave me permission to be honest, I’m not going to lie. The peace and quiet thing is kind of nice.)
2 replies on “Thanksgiving”
miss you. thankful for your years with us. and sad to not have you. (Cheri is sadder because every day she comes to me and says “I miss Katie” because something like linens are a wreck. or something doesn’t have a sign. or card pockets are empty. we miss you. and i think you miss us a little but we are happy to hear of your travels and your settling in and your joy in life. because life should be filled with joy. keep choosing it.
thanks for this amy, I miss you all and was sad to miss out on Annie. it certainly feels odd not being a holiday elf this year but I am loving being able to follow all of the updates on social media! really love that we can all keep in touch that way. hope this holiday season is the best yet!
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